


You Never Left

by Selenic



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 03:59:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1968147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selenic/pseuds/Selenic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's thoughts on two occasions a decade apart, when he steps through the Gate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Never Left

**Author's Note:**

> This is my meager contribution to the SGA Ten Year Anniversary celebration. I am so happy to have found the series, the stories, the fandom, and the people, and words aren't enough to show how I feel. Unbetad, all mistakes are completely mine.
> 
> Crossposted [on my LJ](http://selenic76.livejournal.com/38392.html)

 

You Never Left

 

John stood in front of the gate, hesitant, yet exhilarated. The shimmering surface beckoned him, promising things beyond his wildest dream, and perhaps his darkest nightmares as well. He'd watched Dr. Weir and Colonel Sumner step through, followed by marines, all disappearing one by one into the radiant pool. Each had faced the coming adventure in their own way, some more warily, others with a big grin on their faces, but they all had stepped through with conviction, and John could sense the same feeling from the people awaiting entry behind him. These were brave people.

Of the multitude of scenarios John had gone through the preceding, sleepless night—weighing the pros and cons, wondering what the hell he was getting into, trying to decide if any of the things holding him back really outweighed his curiosity about Atlantis (they didn't by a long shot)—not one had prepared him for the moment when he actually stood on the threshold. What he was about to do was crazy beyond words, and John had barely had enough time to wrap his head around this whole Stargate thing, let alone to properly consider the ramifications of his choice. Fortunately, John had never been one to mull over his decisions too much. In his heart he'd known he was going as soon as Doctor Weir had asked, he'd just needed to persuade his brains to follow.

"What's it feel like?" John asked the young marine next to him.

"Hurts like hell, sir," the man replied with a serious face, yet a few seconds later he grinned, then let out a happy "Wohoo!" and jumped through the gate, without even turning to face it. All things considered, that was as good a way as any to enter an alien galaxy. John closed his eyes, putting aside thought and reason as he did so, and headed towards the unknown.

 

~~~

 

John stood in front of the gate, marvelling at the shimmering pool contained within. He would never get tired of the sight, or the endless wonder that waited beyond the rippling surface, but for too long he had been watching others go through while he stayed behind.

Ten years had passed since the first time John had taken that one significant step that had forever altered his life, filling it with adventure, danger, and apprehension, but also exciting discoveries, deep bonding, and a sense of finally belonging somewhere. But for the last three of them John had been bound to a desk, by red tape and politics. It hadn't taken long after Atlantis had landed on Earth for the select few governments who know of its existence to get into an argument over what should be done with it. While they debated the matter, the IOA kept a tight watch on Atlantis and the people allowed to work there. Most of the Expedition had kept on living in the City, continuing their exploration and excavation of its secrets. But they all knew the day would come when they'd be forced to leave.

John could hear steps approaching, and people gathering behind him, but he ignored them for the time being—he wanted to savour this moment.

When the IOA had finally decided that it would be in everyone's best interest—meaning it would be the least troublesome solution—to send Atlantis back to Pegasus galaxy, it was also agreed that a change in leadership and crew was in order. People were chosen based on quotas and agendas, not how suitable for the mission they were or how well they worked together, a sure recipe for disaster. John had told them exactly that, and not in a very nice way either, and had fought every decision the IOA had made, but no one had listened. He'd been given a promotion and a nice wide table to sit behind, and told to forget about Atlantis. Most of the original Expedition hadn't fared any better; the only exception had been Rodney, who'd received one tempting offer after another to continue working on Atlantis. He had stubbornly turned down each one.

Now Rodney stood next to John, rocking on his heels in quiet frustration, but even he let John have his moment. For three long years they'd been cut off from the place they had all come to call home. Visiting Atlantis had been allowed at first even if it was frowned upon, but apparently they were considered a bad influence on the new recruits, having too many opinions of the wrong sort and encouraging free thinking, so those privileges were soon revoked. John had been relying on what little information the IOA handed down, or what Rodney and Radek managed to steal about what was happening. All of John's fears had come true—the new Expedition suffered from weak leadership, bickering and rivalry both between the military and civilian factions and all the different nationalities, lack of commitment and passion, and above all, the total absence of the thing that had glued their predecessors together; their love for the City. And the City's love for them.

After those three long years, which had comprised of nothing but one thing going wrong after another, the IOA had no choice but to accept the facts—they had failed miserably.

Rodney had now begun to tap his foot, a sound John had come to associate with nearly depleted reserves of patience. John sighed, but with a smile. He was just as anxious to get home as Rodney was. Not only that, but they had been separated from a part of their team, and meeting Ronon and Teyla after all this time was something to look forward to.

John turned around to face the crowd behind him. He could spot Radek and Carson in the front row, and Lorne and his team stood at the foot of the gangway, all ready to go. In the middle of the gathered mass of people John's gaze found Chuck, and Doctors Parrish and Biro a little to his left. So many familiar faces, each meeting his eyes and offering a smile or a nod in return. They were all ready. Not one had hesitated when they'd been recalled. The only one missing was Richard Woolsey, who had retired for health reasons, and even that nearly hadn't stopped him from joining them. He'd still come up to see them go, watching them from his higher viewpoint in the control room.

A small group of new recruits stood against the back wall of the Gateroom, among them the newly appointed—by the IOA, they had to have their say in something at least—civilian leader of Atlantis. The younger woman was nowhere near her caliber, but she still reminded John a lot of Elizabeth, having a diplomatic background, and enough determination to spare; you didn't get to where she was by being coy. But where Elizabeth had been headstrong enough to defy everyone, the newly chosen still hovered on the edge of disobedience without stepping over the line, following things too much to the letter. John was certain that Atlantis would soon see to that.

John gestured for her to join him and Rodney in front of the open Gate, and after thus receiving permission, she grabbed her gear and walked up the gangway and stopped beside them with a hint of hesitation in her eyes.

"We go through together," John told her. She nodded in reply and smiled, growing visibly more confident. John could sense her eagerness, how in awe of things she was, yet full to the brim with curiosity and enthusiasm. She would do just fine.

"This is all very nice, but can we just go already?" Rodney finally spoke out. "Even if we now have a full ZPM powering the Gate, it's not going to last forever, plus this backpack isn't getting any lighter, not to mention the longer we wait, the bigger the chances are that one screw-up or another they've performed while we've been gone will blow the whole City up or suck it into an artificial black hole before we even set foot on Atlantis."

"Fine, fine," John said quietly and sighed. "All right people," he continued slightly louder so the others would hear, "let's head home." The crowd erupted with joyful shouts and applause. John thought he'd better get out of the way or be trampled. He sent a final nod to Woolsey, and received a similar one in return. Then he turned around, and with a grin leaped from one galaxy to another.

After the sole of his foot touched on Atlantis, John took only a few steps, then stopped in the middle of the floor, inhaling the familiar air that smelled of the ocean and something distinctly Lantean, staying still until he could feel the almost imperceptible vibration that permeated the structures of the City, and the gentle touch on his mind.

"Sorry it took so long, but we're back," he whispered as people flooded in on both sides of him.

 _You never left_ , Atlantis replied, her soft hum surrounding John in a welcoming embrace.

 

~~~ End ~~~

 

 


End file.
